No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
