Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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