she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
