Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
