so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
