That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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