the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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