SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize