I must be too annoying 4 u.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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