Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
