he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
