I bet he comes in French.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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