how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
