You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
