yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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