I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
