I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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