dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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