Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My liver just had a heart attack.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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