im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
