i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
