she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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