He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize