fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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