hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
