Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize