grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
