i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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