This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
