Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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