i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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