You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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