When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
