so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
