lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
