I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
