I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
