He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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