dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
