apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
