yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
