Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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