My nipple is on Facebook.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
