guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
