How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's shark week go big or go home
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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