Dual....:-)
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
