Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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