I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
