Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Couch. On fire.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
