i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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