I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
