the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
