i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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