Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
