i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
