At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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