Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize