ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
