i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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