You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
