I CAN MOONWALK!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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