What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
